By Nathan Rothwell
Apparently Glenn Beck wants to start a cult town.
Now, before we get too worked up over this, odds are that
this plan will never come to fruition. Beck’s schemes are usually never fully
realized, due to a combination of mismanaged execution and his own hubris.
Remember the “Restoring Honor” rally, where Beck had originally hoped that as
many as 300,000 people would crowd the National Mall to hear his 100-year plan
to save America? As it turned out, only about a
third of that projection actually attended. And the great “transformation”
Beck hyped for months turned out to be nothing more than a proclamation of his
love for the Mormon Jeebus.
Apparently Glenn Beck wants to start a cult town.
Now, before we get too worked up over this, odds are that
this plan will never come to fruition. Beck’s schemes are usually never fully
realized, due to a combination of mismanaged execution and his own hubris.
Remember the “Restoring Honor” rally, where Beck had originally hoped that as
many as 300,000 people would crowd the National Mall to hear his 100-year plan
to save America? As it turned out, only about a
third of that projection actually attended. And the great “transformation”
Beck hyped for months turned out to be nothing more than a proclamation of his
love for the Mormon Jeebus.
So there’s an excellent chance that Beck’s proposed
city/theme park hybrid (entitled “Independence, USA”) never actually
materializes. Or if it does, the amount of attendance it actually gets will
make Euro Disney look like a huge success by comparison. All things being
considered, outrage doesn’t seem warranted. But that doesn’t mean we can’t take
a look at the pre-hype hoopla and make lots and lots of fun of it.
GETTING IN:
The front entrance “is based on Ellis Island,” Beck
explains. “Everybody that would come through would come through the front
gate… through Ellis Island. And the reason why we put Ellis Island there is
because that’s how most of us, or our families came through.”
TRANSLATION:
“We’re pre-screening you bastards before any one of you gets
into my dreamtown! And you can’t bring any stuff with you, either!” You’ve got
to hand it to Beck here, with his use of descriptive language to transform the
hallmarks of joining a cult (appeasing Dear Leader, giving up worldly
possessions) into reliving an episode of American history.
Actually, I take that back. Many think of Emma Lazarus’
“huddled masses yearning to breathe free” when picturing Ellis Island, which
conveniently omits the ugly parts. Like the part where quotas on certain ethnic
groups were enforced, or the part where officials could change your last name
if it was too hard to pronounce, or just sounded too foreign-y. Nothing enhances the theme park experience
like making people stand in line to make sure they share in Beck’s delusions of
grandeur / aren’t Muslim!
